My Word for 2015: SELF ... discovery, love, acceptance, worth, esteem, confidence...It's all about Me, Myself and I

Last year I had a word ... one word that captured my goal or theme for my blog and ultimately for myself for that year. 

My Word for 2014: LEARNING.

It has been quite a learning curve since I started my blog July 5th, 2013. My ability to learn some lessons more successful with some than others, but learning definitely dominated my blogging experience in 2014.

Today is January 1st, 2015. This year I want to continue to learn, but on a more personal level. 

My word for 2015:

I want to learn to look inward at mySELF and my blog and learn to love mySELF, accept mySELF, to have SELF confidence, SELF respect, SELF descovery, and positive SELF image and SELF esteem. 

These are not easy lessons. Learning to love and accept one's SELF with all the good the bad and ugly is a challenging thing to do. My relationship with mySELF is often a rocky one that like any relationship worth having requires putting in the time and effort to make it work. 

On December 28th, 2014 someone who does not follow me on twitter randomly tweeted 

"Can you not think out loud so much?"

and shortly after that someone else who does not follow me on twitter favourited that tweet.

This tweet has stayed with me over the past few days. 

For some reason this random thoughtless tweet really stung. I know it's ridiculous to let someone I don't know override other positive comments, or feedback. In my head I know there are some basic SELF preservation rules that come with blogging and putting yourself our there, such as ignore stupid tweets like the one above. In my head I know someone not following me or unfollowing me although a personal decision, really isn't personal and certainly not a criteria I should use to judge mySELF. 

In my heart this tweet is in large bold print and hard to ignore. In my heart I know this has more to do with me than the other person. In my heart I know only I can change that.

I am a list maker, a user of outlines, and timelines, and agendas. I have always found breaking things down into smaller pieces and having a plan helps me to focus and make more effective use of my time. 

In 2015 the "plan" is to establish my SMART goals for mySELF.

I want to learn to see and acknowledge my SELF worth, and set a reasonable criteria in which to measure this. I want to accept and believe areas that need improvement do not negate areas I excel at, and celebrating others successes should not make me feel bad about myself and my achievements (or lack there of). This will be the year I manage SELF doubt rather than it managing me.

If there are areas in my life that I need to change or improve upon, I want to take a hard look at what I am doing to successfully make those changes, and what I am doing to sabotage successfully reaching my goals or making change. I want to maximize the first and minimize the second.

I want a mechanism to remind mySELF I have a voice and a platform to use it. What I think and have to say matters. I can use my voice for good and to amplify those whose voices might not otherwise be heard. All "my thinking out loud" is how I share, inform, and link information, people and ideas. I want the SELF confidence to use this voice to reach others in a meaningful way. My education, size, age, shape, skin colour or gender does not change that right or my ability to do so. 

Since my blog is ultimately about me it's easy to be lured into a endless cycle of questioning my value and interpreting blog numbers and followers as a personal and negative reflection of mySELF. This often leads to comparing mySELF to others, and wondering why they have success where I do not. It is also easier to blame circumstance rather then set goals and take action to bring about change. 

Today I start the process of  making this year all about Me, Myself and I. Setting goals to work towards being the very best Me I can be; both as a person and a blogger, in that order. With a pad of paper and a pen in hand I begin to set out both my personal and blog SMART Goals for 2015. What, When, Who, Why, Where and How. How they are linked, where they cross-over, and when they should not.

In the mean time ...

 I ask myself the following with each post:

What is the purpose and motivation for writing this post?

Did this post come from a honest and positive place?

Is it about something either I personally have an interest in or feel my readers would be interested in?

Did I try my best to write about something in a way that entertains, links, informs, or reaches people?

Did I remind mySELF: If only one person reads this post and benefits from it in some small way, that good enough? 

If I can answer yes to these questions then I think I'm off to a good start to 2015!

Yep, just me Cathy thinking out loud about me! 

p.s. The answer to the tweet: NO I cannot "not think out loud so much"!