Reminded That Life Is Short. Don't Take it for Granted or Waste a Minute of It!

Today I was reminded once again how life can change so quickly. 

It has been a very sad day.

I'm sitting here thinking how important it is to find your joy, and live each day to the fullest, and never take friends, family and life for granted. I'm once again reminded that the people around us are what makes life special and full.

I woke up to read that a follow Ottawa blogger had passed away. We weren't close friends, and although we had met in real life, the majority of our interactions were on-line. Still, I felt a connection with her, united by mutual friends, location, age, and life experiences as bloggers, as women, and as moms. I got a glimpse of her true spirit, and the type of person she was through her social media shares (I call them smile-makers) of her day, dog, coffee, and her obvious love of her family. 

Her positivity and zest for life was so evident. Those smile-makers touched me, and no double many many others. I think she made a conscious choice to share happy and positive, and that she knew this would inspire others to find the good and happy and positive in our lives and focus on that. 

I wonder how she found the strength to do this. How do you deal with the news that your entire life is about to change. How does one fight the good fight, and stay positive, and maintain some control, when so much is out of your control? How do you make every moment count and live in the moment, while thinking about a future you might not be a part of? How do you fast track a lifetime of lessons, insights, words of wisdom and I love yous.

I'm brought to tears just thinking about my own kids going through all those important and defining moments yet to come without their biggest reality checker, lecturer, champion and cheerleader there to provide support, love and the occasional shoulder to cry on. I'm brought to tears thinking of her family now coping with such a huge loss, and the overwhelming task of moving on and finding joy. 

I was taken by surprise by the news that she had passed away. Her word for 2016 was Joy. The optimism of that post leaves me both heartbroken and inspired to try to emulate her by looking for and sharing happy, positive, good and joy. She was young damn it! Several years younger than me! She was a writer with so many more stories to tell. 

At the end of this reflection I'm left with this. No matter how crazy my kids drive me, I'm here to be annoyed. No matter how grumpy my husband is, I get the opportunity to tell him so. My family still gets to benefit from my advice and words of wisdom whether asked for, or wanted. We're blessed to be able to live in the moment, live life to it's fullest, find our joy, spread happy and positive, and show and tell our loved ones that we love them every day.

I thought I was finished this this post, but it turns there was more sad news to come. As I finished the paragraph above I received a text that from a friend telling me someone I have known for more than 20 years passed away a few weeks ago. Our families had lost touch, but before that for years there was a group of friends that experienced university, marriage, buying our first homes, and the adventure of having kids together. I am shattered and heartbroken. There won't be a chance to reconnect, reminisce, hear him laugh, and see that smile. That warm happy smile that always had just a bit of mischief in it. I am heartbroken for his wife and kids, his sisters and his parents. I am just heartbroken.

Life is short, so don't take it for granted or waste a minute of it! 

Yep, just me Cathy reflecting out loud about life, love, family and loss. 

To My Auntie Anna: I Love You and I'll Miss You.

To My Auntie Anna:

I started to write this post at the beginning of January. My family lives about a 6 hour drive away, and my Aunt lives another 2 hours from there. This distance and busy schedules make visits few and far between. Although I cherish the visits I do get, it is so easy to say next time, or soon, or I wish I could. These are all true and truly legitimate reasons for not being able to visit. Scheduling a trip requires time we often do not have. 

Over the Christmas holidays we visit my family and my mother-in-law. Christmas holidays are two weeks long, family time is short, my Hubby only has so much vacation time, and my kids are teens and have homework to do over the holidays. My kids also want to have some of their holidays left to visit friends, and do some of the things they want to do. Between the visits and the two days of driving it is a pretty rushed trip. My parents and mother-in-law only get 1 1/2 days of visit time each on the Christmas visit.

My Aunt has been sick for some time. Not a sick she will recover from, but a sick that would see her deteriorate over time. She is a kind, and generous soul, with a great sense of humour, and a twinkle in her eye. Auntie Anna always manages to stay positive, and have a smile for me no matter if she doesn't feel that way on the inside. When I was young she always called us Pumpkin, and had her coat pocket full of change, which we got to reach in, pull out as much as we could and keep it. As an adult we would banter over politics and religion. She knits me colourful dishcloths by the dozen, and shares the beautiful cards she makes. My Aunt is a talented artist, and I cherish the painting of hers I own. 

Often she would visit my parents over the holidays, or in the summer, and for most of my adult life this is where the kids and I would see her, at my parents while we visited as well. In the past couple years she has been too sick to travel, and my parents would visit her instead, so I seldom got the opportunity to see her. This summer I added an extra day to my visit, packed my parents and my kids into the van and drove to see her. We had a wonderful day, went out for lunch, and my kids took turns with my Dad pushing her wheelchair on a walk through the park. She loves seeing the kids, and the kids love her, it is impossible not too.

Flash forward to Christmas time, my Aunt is not doing well and I am afraid I may not get to see her again. So I add a day to our visit and pack up the van with my parents, my kids, my sister, and her daughter, and off the 7 of us go to visit Auntie Anna. My Uncle who lives in the same building gets wind of the visit, and he and his wife join in the visit, and that makes 10. My cousin, whom I have not seen in 20 years since her wedding hears we are visiting and gets her family into the car and drives the 2 hours from the opposite direction to visit, and that makes 14. My poor Aunt, feast or famine, but she seemed delighted, and it was a lovely visit. Another Uncle calls and we debate if he and my Aunt can make it in time to be part of the visit. Yet another cousin I haven't chatted with in at least 10 years calls and we all have a chat with her too. What a day, so worth making the time to visit.

A few weeks ago my Mom calls me to tell me my Aunt did not have long now. My parents are in Florida, and I'm an 8 hour drive away. My younger who lives closer decides to drive for a visit and Skype from Auntie Anna place. I knew she was very sick, and in a lot of pain, but she looked so good, and was smiling and waving to me. It was so special to see her.

Today my Auntie Anna died. 

As I prepare for the long drive for her funeral, I wish I had written this post before when she was alive, and I was reflecting on that visit, or even the Skype chat. I wish I had written this when the tears were of laughter at how cute she was showing me her socks matched her nightgown, and wasn't she a fashion plate. 

Today as I write this it is with tears of sorrow, reflecting on the loss I feel at never again having the opportunity to visit with her. Make time for those visits, hard as it is sometimes to fit them in, it is those memories we will cherish, rather than regret we didn't make time. Sometimes next time, or soon never comes, and it is what we do when our loved ones are living that matters.
Good Bye Auntie Anna. I love you and will miss you and all the sunshine that you were. xo

No Doubt About It 2013 Was A Busy Year For Me

No doubt about it, 2013 was a busy year for me! 

I went to Florida and Disney World in March, Washington DC in August, and Syracuse shopping with my friend in June and November. All were fun filled and left me wanting to stay longer!

Washington DC Makes Me Happy Post

I attended MomMeTime in April, and BlissdomCA in October! This was a huge step out of my comfort zone! At both events I met amazing people, and was able to connect in real life with many of the people I know from the social media world. These real life meetings completely change the social media experience for me. 

I am going to BlissdomCa: My First Blogger Conference Post

Reflections: Did I Find My Bliss Post 

In July I started a Blog! WHAT!! Yes another huge step out of my comfort zone. Not only am I not comfortable sharing, far less in such a public way, I am at best a beginner in the world or social media, and technically challenged to boot. So many people have been so kind and supportive while I tried to figure out the Blogging basics. I can't even begin to explain how meaningful that was for me. Such generosity of peoples time and help, and willingness to share, again I am so thankful for having these very special people in my life. 

OK I started a Blog! Now What? Post 

This Old Dog Can Learn New Tricks: Blogging 101 Post

The Many Sides of Me Post 

November and December in the Blogisphere brought about many firsts for me. I did my first sponsored post, and participated in my first group giveaway (ok it was my first giveaway at all, ok ok it was my only giveaway). I participated in my first Book Review Blog Tour. Last, but definitely not least I had my first gig as a moderator for a twitter party! All of these were very scary for me, given I had NO clue what I was doing. If I'm honest I still don't, but I'm proud of myself for trying. 

I celebrated another Birthday (no I will not tell you my age! LOL), and another wedding anniversary, 21 in total! My eldest turned 18, and despite how he may act sometimes he is officially an adult. 

I came to terms with the fact I can no longer ignore my health. I needed to stop talking about taking better care of myself, and getting more exercise, and actually needed to do something about. Granted it was late in 2013 that I finally accepted I could procrastinate no longer, but still better late than never.

Yes indeed, 2013 has been a busy year, but I think one of growth and learning. The learning curve continues to be a steep and sometimes overwhelming one for me, but overall I think 2013 has been a good year. Here is hoping that 2014 will be filled with more exciting and new experiences, opportunities to grow and continue to make amazing connections.

Yep, just me, Cathy thinking out loud about 2013.