Looking Back 2017 & Looking Forward 2018: A Collection of Collages & Ideas

2017 - A glance back at what I did, saw, ate, loved, etc.

2018 - A glance forward at what I want to try, do, and try to do.

Disclosure: This post contains links to a number of previous Cathy Thinking Out Loud posts, 
some of which may contain sponsored content. As always all opinions are my own. 

WOW! 2017 flew by in what seemed like a blink of an eye, and before I knew it I was smack dab in 2018. A new year always means reflecting on the highlights and disappointments of the year before, and things I did or didn't accomplish. What people, experiences, or things impressed, inspired, or disappointed me, and what thoughts and memories will stay with me. Those reflections and thoughts have a huge impact on my goals and hopes for the new year. Some things will continue into 2018 and beyond, others will be fondly (or not so fondly) remembered but discontinued, or have simply run their course. Which brings me to the list of things I want to try, do, or try to do this in 2018. The list is long, and I know not all on the To Do list will get ticked off, but now in January it's kinda exciting so see all the potential the year holds. Because as far as I'm concerned until the clock strikes 12 on December 31st, 2018 the possibilities for this year are endless. 

It's plain to see 2017 was a busy year ...

I Went to ...
Clearwater, Florida, and various Ontario destinations including Toronto and the GTA, CasinoRama and Orillia, Gananoque, and Parkbridge Resort at Wasaga Beach.

I Attended ...
The Hockey Exhibit at the Canadian Museum of History (very Canadian and appropriate to mark Canada's 150th), a live taping of an episode of Cityline (with my Big Sis and Julie), Floral Crown and Wreath Making Workshop at Place d'Orleans (with Julie - fun with friends!), a Picnic with Ann and Julie in Gatineau Park, Vogue Darling - Style and Lifestyle Influencer Networking event, Taj Blogger night, Chatime blogger tasting event, Anne screening at the NAC - Netflix Streamteam, Supperworks Ottawa Blogger night, and the Ottawa Blogger Holiday lunch. 

As well the 4th BConnected Conference (for Digital Influencers) that was relocated to Toronto from Ottawa's final year. I was very sad to see the end of this conference, having attended all 4, with each one getting bigger and better. 

I Saw ...
The Mechanical Giants of La Machine (amazing HUGE mechanical creators), the Ottawa Chinatown Night Market in Ottawa's Chinatown, and PINK perform at Ottawa Bluesfest. During Doors Open Ottawa 2017 I managed to fit in a tour of the Canadian Aviation and Space Reserve Hanger and the National Research Council of Canada (NRC) Ocean, Coastal and River Engineering Facilities, both of which were fascinating in their own way.

I Ate at ...
In Ottawa: Taj Indian Cuisine (delicious ... need I say more?), Morals Village Hot Pot (a dining experience), and other Ottawa eateries such as Jericho (filled with art and colour), Baan Thai (get the lunch special that comes on a lazy susan), Kanata Noodle House (for my favourite "birds nest chicken" aka F8), and Shawarma Palace (another family favourite) are just some of the local Ottawa establishments I had the pleasure of dining at in 2017. 

In Toronto: Arriba Restaurant & Lounge at the Renaissance Toronto, The Senator Restaurant (for pre-Cityline taping breakfasts) and Trattoria Mercatto (for post-Cityline taping lunches).

Other locations: CasinoRama and Orillia area eateries (there are so many great dining options at every price point), and in Clearwater, Florida - Frenchys Rockaway Grill (great food, friendly staff, and the view ain't too bad either).

I Tried ...
My first Barre and spin class during a 30-day fitness challenge. 

Beer again for the first time in at least a decade ... and liked it! 

I Embraced ...

Fruit in the way of an Apple Watch, iPhone and Apple MacBook. 

Indulged in ...
Some Retail Therapy ... because if the shoe fits ... 

I Watched ...
So many great movies, and shows. Last year was my 4th year as part of the Netflix Streamteam. And the quality and quantity of content was outstanding in 2017. (Be sure to check out my What to Watch posts for suggestions.) In addition to Netflix I found plenty to watch on Amazon Prime, and on local and Canadian TV channels. 

I Loved ...

I refer to myself as a tech-challenged tech-enthusiast. I love technology as long as it is easy enough for even me to use, and makes life better in some way. The Kingston Technology Data Traveler microDuo 3.0 (that works with both standard USB and micro USB ports) makes it easy to store or transfer data from my smartphone or tablet to my laptop. Given I use my phone almost exclusively to take pictures for my blog, storage, convenience and ease of use is why this easily made my Love List. The Belkin Road Rockstar 4 -port car charger (4 Ports!!!) If you have ever done a long-distance road trip with teens you'll know why this is a travel must-have and sanity-saver. My selfie light for my phone (not for selfies) I actually rarely use this for selfies, but it works wonders when trying to take pictures in low light such as a restaurant. Honourable mentions go to my Nordic Ware microwave egg cooker. It just works, and is easy to use with virtually no cleanup required. And the Instant Pot is worth every penny. It makes weekday meal prep fast and easy. 

Well hello 2018! Good to meet you.
This year I'm looking forward to ...

• A soon-to-be-announced collaboration with Julie from Try Small Things in April. A first for both of us that we are excited about. 
• A trip to Florida in the Spring. Just starting to look at dates and flight options. Always fun to do on a cold Canadian winter day. 

And I'm hoping to ...

• Redesign my blog and switch to WP.
• Take courses on coding, WP, photography. 
• Perfect my pitch, and pitch more of my ideas. 
• Embrace video and create live or taped video content to share both on my social media channels and on the blog. 
• Hit 10,000 followers on twitter.
• Write more, and more consistently on my blog. 
• Read more ... books, articles and posts about marketing, blogging, writing, photography.
• Learn how to use my new Apple laptop and phone. In the past I have used Android and PC's so this should be an interesting transition. 
• Discover all the functions of my cameras, and how I can use them. 
• Declutter my house, workspace, life, mind, and anything else that can be decluttered. 
• Be more active and eat healthier. 
• Manage time better.
• Increase my Mindfulness & Focus. There are many apps, techniques and tips to increase mindfulness and decrease stress. So I'm looking to discover which ones work well for me.  
• Travel to places I've never been before. 
• Take chances and step out of my comfort zone ... at least once or twice. 

So I bid a fond farewell to 2017, while looking forward to an amazing 2018. 

What was the best part of your 2017, and what are you most looking forward to in 2018?

Yep, just me Cathy thinking about a looking back over the last year, and looking forward to a what I hope is a spectacular 2018.   

Positive "Feeler Words" - #Confidence #WordOfTheWeek

Confidence 

There are certain words I call "feeler words" because they evoke a reaction from me. My feeler words may not be the same as yours, but we all have certain words that inspire, empower, give off a positive vibe, or even work like a personal call to action. In 2018 I'd like to share my list of 52 feeler words, how they make me feel and, why they made my list.

Confidence: "A conviction the outcome will be favourable" and "a belief in the certainty of something". 

Positive thinking, confidence and believing something not only can but will happen is powerful stuff. Adding the word "self" to confidence and believing in your ability to make something happen is all about that powerful stuff coming from within yourself and that my friends is empowering. 

Self-Confidence: "A belief in one's own abilities; self-assured." and "A positive belief that in the future one can generally accomplish what one wishes to do." 

"Confidence" ... just the word alone makes me want to stand a bit taller, and hold my head a bit higher. 
When I started my blog I literally had no clue what I was doing, and to a large extent that is still true. I'm not a writer by trade, so putting my work out there for all to see was a big deal. Yet I go forth writing and posting with the belief my efforts will have a favourable outcome, and that in the future I can accomplish what I wish to to do. I believe I can write, and by continuing to write my skills and ability to articulate what I want to say will improve. With each post I write I'm confident what I write about and how I write about it has value. 

When I feel confident ...
I hear my inner voice loudly and clearly say "Don't be distracted by all the buzz and noise around you, just focus on you and what it is you're trying to achieve. Followed by a "Girl you got this!" 

When I think about "confidence" I think commitment, big picture and the playing the long game. 
To have confidence you don't need to always be right, or the best, or never fail. It's about believing in yourself and your abilities when you are challenged, or struggling, overlooked, or undervalued. It's about believing in yourself while facing challenges and setbacks and that in the long-term your abilities and efforts will result in a favourable outcome. Confident people never strike me as getting that way overnight. Their confidence comes from experience, and the effort they put in developing their skills and abilities to achieve their goals, and a favourable outcome.

We can't control everything around us or even how people act towards us, but we can control how we react to situations, and people, and whether we frame it in a positive or negative way. How I frame experiences and situations impacts how I feel, what I do, and my confidence. It's easy to feel down and question your abilities when you only look at what you haven't done, or are afraid to do. Confidence comes from looking at the bigger picture that includes all the things you have learned and all progress and successes as well.   

Just in case you need a little help ... 
Below are links to a few posts with tips on boosting your self-confidence and staying positive.

• Reader's Digest - Tips to Boost Self-Confidence
• Skills You Need.Com - Building Confidence
• Entrepreneur.Com - 10 Things You Can Do to Boost Self-Confidence
• Forbes - 10 Ways to Build Confidence

And just in case you didn't know ... 

"You Got This!"

Yep, just me Cathy thinking out loud about the word Confidence. 

Definitions via The Free Dictionary 

I Don't Care What Your Skin Colour, Religion, Gender, or Sexual Orientation Is

I used to love to watch the News. 

Now watching the news leaves me soul crushingly sad at the senseless violence we as humans seem capable of. And with a need to think out loud. 

When I was in high school and even university, whether I watched the Local, National, or International news, there always seemed to be something exciting or interesting being developed, achieved or witnessed. I found the news to be fascinating, inspirational, thought provoking, educational, and yes sometimes sad. The 11 o'clock news from high school is in large part the reason I ended up with a major in Political Science and a Minor in Women's Studies. I believed that education and dialogue could right wrongs, open minds and change the world. The news used inspire dialogue and debate. But now more often than not the news is heartbreaking, disappointing and soul crushing, so I rarely turn it on. 

Sadly the feelings the news inspired in me in high school is not the experience my kids have had. The news reported throughout their high school years seemed to be comprised of much larger daily doses of atrocities and examples of senseless loss of life and injury inflicted by humans on humans. I'm not talking about the tragic loss of life due to natural disasters. This also is heartbreaking, and so very sad. But there's a difference between a natural disaster and intentional malicious attacks on groups or individuals purely based on some arbitrary characteristic or belief that group or person might have. While the tragedy a natural disaster evokes an immediate response in me to take action and help, these senseless acts of violence are soul crushing and leave me feeling helpless. 

I may be suffering from memory loss and nostalgia about my youth, since there are many examples throughout history of terrible atrocities, persecution and intolerance of groups based on race, religion, culture and beliefs. It may be that things have always been this way and social media and globalization puts it right up in our faces, forcing us to deal with it, refusing to let us turn a blind eye. I feel like with every step forward towards understanding and acceptance, we at the same time take another one back. The more tolerant the majority gets, the more pockets of ultra-extreme groups emerge. 

I wonder if my kids feel the same sense of helplessness or feel powerless to do anything about it. Or does this day in and day out barrage of violence leave them desensitized to loss of human life, and therefore the value of human life including their own? It's hard to know sometimes what goes on in the minds of an 18 and 20 year old. I struggle with what to say, other than I'm left speechless by such acts of violence. 

What can I possibly do or say in response to acts like the one in Orlando, Florida that really makes any impact or difference? Nothing really, but I suppose by saying something or writing something maybe I set an example for my kids. They will see that you can't sit on the fence about certain things. They will have no doubt where I stand on certain things. Maybe it'll make starting a dialogue easier. I don't really have an answer to any of this. But today I was thinking out loud on facebook and thought maybe the message was worth thinking out loud about it here as well.

How do I love thee? A Love Letter to Mom for #MothersDay

Why a Love Letter to Mom is the Perfect Gift:

Parenting can be tough ...

Two years ago I wrote this post, but it's just as true today as it was two years ago. The day to day trials of parenting two now young adult boys is challenging, at least in my experience. On the really bad days, when I question myself and my parenting skills being able to put out and read something that reminds me that my efforts do not go completely unnoticed is a gift. A Love Letter to Mom is what I really need more than flowers, chocolates, jewellery or brunch. 

The importance of articulation and communication ...

The act of my sons thoughtfully articulating why they love me is a gift I'll cherished more than any they can buy. In some ways it's a gift to them as well; as it makes them examine their feelings, and even if just a little, become more comfortable being open about and sharing those feelings. I know the ability to articulate and communicate their feelings will impact their happiness and every relationship they have in life. But maybe more important, learning to share their feeling and reach out when they're unhappy or in crisis may actually save their life. If I can help my kids do this, it's a gift. 

Post from May 7th, 2014:
"Getting teenage boys to share their feelings is no easy task, but never being one to shy away from a challenge, I've decided to ask my two teenage boys to do just that. I'm asking them to focus 100% of their attention on the specific task of writing a two or three paragraph essay or letter, once a year, telling me why I am important, inspirational, or add value to their lives, including a few specific actions, activities or memories over the last year that are meaningful to them."
Read more...

To the Moms out there Happy Mother's Day, to those missing their Moms on Mother's Day I hope you have some happy memories you can cherish and hold on to, and to those dreaming about being Moms may your dreams come true.

Yep, just me Cathy thinking out loud and again about Love Letters to Mom for Mother's Day.

Reminded That Life Is Short. Don't Take it for Granted or Waste a Minute of It!

Today I was reminded once again how life can change so quickly. 

It has been a very sad day.

I'm sitting here thinking how important it is to find your joy, and live each day to the fullest, and never take friends, family and life for granted. I'm once again reminded that the people around us are what makes life special and full.

I woke up to read that a follow Ottawa blogger had passed away. We weren't close friends, and although we had met in real life, the majority of our interactions were on-line. Still, I felt a connection with her, united by mutual friends, location, age, and life experiences as bloggers, as women, and as moms. I got a glimpse of her true spirit, and the type of person she was through her social media shares (I call them smile-makers) of her day, dog, coffee, and her obvious love of her family. 

Her positivity and zest for life was so evident. Those smile-makers touched me, and no double many many others. I think she made a conscious choice to share happy and positive, and that she knew this would inspire others to find the good and happy and positive in our lives and focus on that. 

I wonder how she found the strength to do this. How do you deal with the news that your entire life is about to change. How does one fight the good fight, and stay positive, and maintain some control, when so much is out of your control? How do you make every moment count and live in the moment, while thinking about a future you might not be a part of? How do you fast track a lifetime of lessons, insights, words of wisdom and I love yous.

I'm brought to tears just thinking about my own kids going through all those important and defining moments yet to come without their biggest reality checker, lecturer, champion and cheerleader there to provide support, love and the occasional shoulder to cry on. I'm brought to tears thinking of her family now coping with such a huge loss, and the overwhelming task of moving on and finding joy. 

I was taken by surprise by the news that she had passed away. Her word for 2016 was Joy. The optimism of that post leaves me both heartbroken and inspired to try to emulate her by looking for and sharing happy, positive, good and joy. She was young damn it! Several years younger than me! She was a writer with so many more stories to tell. 

At the end of this reflection I'm left with this. No matter how crazy my kids drive me, I'm here to be annoyed. No matter how grumpy my husband is, I get the opportunity to tell him so. My family still gets to benefit from my advice and words of wisdom whether asked for, or wanted. We're blessed to be able to live in the moment, live life to it's fullest, find our joy, spread happy and positive, and show and tell our loved ones that we love them every day.

I thought I was finished this this post, but it turns there was more sad news to come. As I finished the paragraph above I received a text that from a friend telling me someone I have known for more than 20 years passed away a few weeks ago. Our families had lost touch, but before that for years there was a group of friends that experienced university, marriage, buying our first homes, and the adventure of having kids together. I am shattered and heartbroken. There won't be a chance to reconnect, reminisce, hear him laugh, and see that smile. That warm happy smile that always had just a bit of mischief in it. I am heartbroken for his wife and kids, his sisters and his parents. I am just heartbroken.

Life is short, so don't take it for granted or waste a minute of it! 

Yep, just me Cathy reflecting out loud about life, love, family and loss. 

The Wait: Realizing My Entire Life Could Change in a Matter of 10 Minutes

There are many important and defining moments over a life time. Moments when something shifts or changes, and we know nothing will ever be the same.

A recent appointment and a ten minute wait had me reflecting on all the other women who have sat like me waiting to hear whether their entire life would change in a matter of 10 minutes.

It's unusual for me to discuss my age, my health or mammograms on social media or my blog. I'm a very private person so tend to "think out loud" in more general terms than personal specifics. When I stray from this policy is when I keep mulling over something and feel like "thinking out loud" about it is somehow more important than my desire for privacy. 

Recently I had a mammogram appointment. It was nothing to be alarmed about since it's standard at my age. Although I would never call it a barrel of laughs, it involves more discomfort than actual pain. The staff were thoughtful, friendly and knowledgeable. The appointment was quick lasting about 15 minutes, and digital imaging means results are quick.  

I was also told since it was my first mammogram it's not unusual to get a call back to help establish a baseline for what is normal for me, and if that was the case I should hear within a few days. So when the call came a few days later stating they would like to make an appointment to take a few more images I thought nothing of it. 

I arrived at my second appointment, although not looking forward to it (remember it's no barrel of laughs) pretty indifferent. I've never had any serious health issues or illnesses. So far so good. When the time came for the mammogram I was told they would only be taking images of one breast and they needed some magnified images, which would be taken to the radiologist while I waited to see if any further images or action was required. 

So knowing it was only one breast specifically and I would wait while the radiologist reviewed the images made me less indifferent. For the first time I began to think about what if something was wrong. I had not mentally prepared for the possibility of such news. We finished with the imaging, and sat to wait. 

In that 10 minutes my entire life could change. How many women like me have sat here alone waiting to hear if their worlds would be turned upside down. I have several friends who have survived breast cancer. They must have been here at one point, nervous but reassuring themselves it was nothing. I started to wonder how they felt in the 10 minute space of time just before everything changed. Were they nervous like I was. Were they playing multiple hypothetical scenarios in their head like I did? 

If they asked for a biopsy would it hurt? I'm a total suck, and don't like pain. Would I be able to handle chemo and treatment? Would treatment work? How would my family deal with this? My youngest is in his last year of high school, preparing for university. My husband was away for work. Would I wait till he got home to tell him? Would I be able to do that? Surely I would need someone to talk to.

All these thoughts and so many more running through my mind. 

I'm one of the lucky ones. My 10 minutes resulted in no life changing news. All appeared to be normal and fine. As I breathe a sigh of relief for myself I can't stop thinking about all those whose 10 minute wait ends differently. How scared and totally unprepared they must have felt, since how can one ever really be prepared for receiving the news that "we found something" after a mammogram. 

I have no solution, or advice or comforting thing to say. This experience has provided me no insight into how one might prepare or cope with a different outcome than the one I had. I can't say I know how you feel, because I don't. But in those 10 minutes as I sat there alone, before results determine if my world would change or stay the same, I felt two things; an overwhelming sense of connection and solidarity with others who have faced those 10 minutes of uncertainty, and incredible sadness for those whose 10 minutes ended in bad rather than good news. 

Yep, just me thinking out loud about how one's life can change in the matter of 10 minutes. 

Thought We Had A Thing?! #BrandsandBloggers Expectations & Disappointment

Brands and Blogger Relationships: Dealing With My Disappointment 

Hey! Over Here! Remember Me?! I thought we had a thing.

It's not often I question a brand's choices when it comes to who they pick as influencers, ambassadors or to work on a given campaign. Each brand has a vision for their overall branding, specific campaigns, and targets they want to reach. I understand that many factors go into each campaign, and there is no shortage of great bloggers who bring impressive skills to the table. But every now and then I feel disappointment in a brand which I find hard to brush off. 

This post is not about a single brand or campaign. I can count on one hand the number of times I have felt this way about a brand in relation to my blog and blogging. It is not a rant, but rather a personal reflection and a statement that "it's just business, and not personal" isn't true for me. It is personal for me with each post, or decision to share content. 

I find it hard not to feel snubbed, if after willingly supporting a brand, sharing their content, and working with them more than once on a specific campaign I discover by way of social media I have now been overlooked for that campaign. It could be that the brand is looking to a whole new group of bloggers, or influencers in a specific niche. But Nope, that was not the situation in these cases. It could be they didn't think I was a good fit, but I have had nothing but positive feedback about my participation in the past. It could be that a different PR team is handling the campaign, but it's the brand that hires the PR team., surely there is some conversation about who has participated in the past. So I can only assume they have simply failed to see me, or my value. While for the brand this choice may be for a single campaign, my feelings about being included or excluded last much longer. 

Realistically the bloggers participating in these campaigns or ambassadorships are successful, with a proven track record, and numbers I only aspire to have, but even so I think my long-term value makes it worth including me in select and specific campaigns. I don't begrudge those chosen to participate. I'm at the same time both happy for the bloggers' success, and disappointed in the brands short sightedness. I'm small but not invisible or insignificant, and besides I thought we had a thing.Wait! Did I just get the brand equivalent of being dumped by text message?! 

So I respond in the only way I can. I simply stop sharing or engaging with that brand. They won't notice, nor will the PR firm for the brand that has made the decision not to see me. It's unlikely that the brand or the PR firm will ever read this, or know I feel this way, and that's okay. The posts I write aren't about getting something or getting back. Writing it down helps me to take a critical look at what I'm feeling, and gives me a place to file those feelings, and move on. Plus it helps me to better manage expectations for future brand relationships, and these are all good things.

Blogging is similar to being a stay-at-home mom, in that it rarely comes with the clear and easy to interpret feedback regular performance appraisal provide. I do wonder if others feel this way, or am I just being too sensitive. I try not to think out loud about this type of thing because I don't want my expressing these feelings to be misinterpreted as whining or having entitlement issues. Although I'm quite capable of both of those it's not the case today. Well enough of that, time to file this under Blogger Issues and move on, because tomorrow is another day filled with possibility.

Yep, just me Cathy thinking out loud about my #BloggerIssues

Mom's View: Conflicting Feelings About My Kid's 1st Solo Trip Abroad #travel

Mom's Perspective: My Teen Is About to Take His First Solo Trip Abroad

In just over a month my youngest and three of his friends will board a flight to Europe. 

Actually it's connecting flights in an airport I've never been in (and I've been in many) to a country I've never been to (and I've been to several). What if he gets hurt, or mugged or there is an emergency? It would take at least 24 hours to get to him. So I worry, because Moms do that. 

Weighing the Pros and Cons to Each Decision:
When he asked I had mixed feelings: Say No you're too young and hold on tight, or say Yes and let go so he has the chance to be part of this adventure with his friends and have his own life experiences.

It doesn't matter that my youngest child is legally an adult, all I see is a kid that's a work in progress on his way to adulthood. 

So what if at his age I had gone on two Spring Break trips to Fort Lauderdale with my friends. Like somehow I was more mature and Fort Lauderdale at spring break was in any way about mature activities or experiences. But Thing 2 has always been independent and strong willed. He's not easily dissuaded, persuaded or likely to listen to words of wisdom and parental advice. That kid seems determined to reinvent the wheel at every stage of his life, and that kinda worries me.

The perspective is very different from this side of the parent-child equation.

You may not be here yet, or maybe you've already gone through this and lived to tell the story. For me this trip my youngest child is about to take abroad without me there to guide, help and be the voice of sanity is a first and a big step for both of us.

My job is to love, teach and protect him. His job is to grow, learn and eventually pull away and be independent. So what do I do with all my concerns, or how do I deal with the things parents worry about when their teen goes abroad for the first time. How do I make him understand that the majority of the world did not grow up with the same privileges he has had, and he is not invincible. That sometimes caution and a clear head are good options in a world where some things are out of his control. How do I get him to understand the really important messages and life lessons I have to share with him without being a hover-mother? I tell you it's tough. But I opted for yes, pressed enter on "book ticket now", and his tickets are confirmed.

I'm hopeful that he'll have a wonderful time and make some incredible memories, without being arrested, maiming himself, or losing his money or passport. I'll keep you posted.

Yep, just me Cathy thinking out loud about parenting Thing 2.

Grrr... #ValentinesDay I'm Just Not Feelin' It

It's almost Valentine's Day and I'm not feeling all lovey-dovey and romantic.

I'm "Bearly" (pun intended) feeling like-y, and closer to no-likey, take a hikey. I'm seeing red at everything around me - including my husband.

There are rules to a happy marriage:

RULE: Only one at a time.

So I'm feeling grumpy and tired. No big deal right?! It happens to everyone now and then. What's not okay is the fact the my husband of 23 years is also grumpy and tired. The only one at a time rule means only one of us can have a mental breakdown, be overwhelmed or "grumpy" at any given time. I'm pretty sure it's my turn! 

Each time he says something to irritate me, or sounds grumpy or rude I'm thinking:

• It's My Turn!
• Take a number and get in line for grumpy time.
• Go have your breakdown on your own time.
• Did you say something? I didn't hear you because I'm not listening to you. 

Yes I understand I'm feeling the equivalent to a Valentine's Bah Humbug, but knowing that doesn't make it go away for myself or my husband. But I'm not worried. After 23 years and 27 Valentines I know it's okay to just go with the flow sometimes. It has nothing to do with love, or caring, it has to do with acceptance. Accepting that grumpy is not a reflection of how much we love each other. Accepting of each other with all our moods and ups and downs. Accepting that this will happen from time to time, especially if you've been together a long time.  

Should I/We Be Worried?

It took me many years of marriage to let the little things slide in my relationship with my husband. If things were not happy in marital bliss-land I felt the need to overanalyze, rehash, and fix it. I had appointed myself keeper of the happiness for every aspect of our lives. Each time my husband was in a bad mood, or grumpy, or angry I assumed it was somehow related to me. He's a man, so it's not like he'd say: "Honey I'm having a bad day, but it has nothing to do with you. Just give me a little space and it will pass". That small but vital piece of information would come out somewhere around the mid-point of the Why are you being so mean to me?-What did I do? argument. (Full Disclosure: I didn't give him the "Honey I'm having a bad day" spiel either, but he just assumed it had nothing to do with him unless otherwise notified.) Turns out he could be angry or upset without being angry or upset at me. Apparently it is possible to just have a bad day or be grumpy and have nothing to do with anything I did or said. 

• In the first decade with my husband I took it personally.
• In the second I was more likely to just ignore it.

RULE: If you laugh you can't be angry at me anymore. 

(my husband made up this ridiculous rule - and now the evil offspring use it on my too! Endless efforts are made to make me laugh in order to invoke the rule Grrr...)

• In the third decade I tell him "you're a grumpy old man, get some friggin' sleep and chill", which usually leads to an exchange of sarcastic but funny one-liners, laughter, a lightening of the mood and the If You Laugh Rule being invoked. 

I think the source of the problem (grumpiness, being irritable) is very important in deciding whether to worry about it or just let it ride itself out. Why am I or my husband grumpy? Is it external reasons impacting a person in a marriage, or is it something within the marriage impacting the person. I'm tired, so is my husband. When I'm tired I'm grumpy. When my husband is tired he is very grumpy. My husband being grumpy to me, can result in me being grumpy too, and vice versa. (Note: in this situation the "only one rule" is immediately invoked, and it's my turn) Sometimes life is a grind. We have two sons, an 18 year old and a 20 year. Need I say more? I think not, because clearly they are 75% of the reason we are tired and grumpy. 

I don't feel very lovey but I love my husband and I know he loves me. That is not to say we always like each other, or like each other's actions. We argue over the kids, money, and what to have for dinner, but I can't imagine my life without him in it, and if I had to pick someone to grow old and grumpy with it would be him. So maybe it's just low blood sugar, and all I really need is chocolate. 

How about you, are you feeling love for Valentine's Day? 

Yep, just me Cathy thinking out loud about chocolate and sleep. 

Please Read My Post: A Day in the Life of a Needy Blogger #BloggerIssues

I Write, I Publish, Then the little voice inside my head says "please please please read my post", and then the cycle repeats itself. 

It's a bit like the instructions on the shampoo bottle:
Wash, Rinse, Repeat, but instead for me it's:
Write, Reader Requisition, Repeat

Yes, I get that it's a wee bit (okay more like infinitely) needy, but I can't help it. 

OMG ... I just realized I 'm a high maintenance blogger!

(Putting on the cone of shame as I type)

 

I have absolutely no idea why one day 100 people visit and another day I'm lucky to get 25 visits, even if I have new posts up and I'm actively sharing links on social media. I just know I like the 100 better than the 25 visits. Maybe on the 25 days you didn't hear my telepathic calls summoning you to a new post. (I'll summon louder in the future).

One of my goals for 2016 is post more consistently and increase the number of visitors and length of visits to my blog. My goal for the first half of 2016 is to consistently get 5o+ visitors a day, or 1500 visitors and 4000 page views per month, and double that number for the second half of 2016. Seemed like an achievable goal at the time, but time will tell.

Giveaways are fun and increase traffic to the blog, but also skew the numbers since they tend to result in quick one page visit, so I'm not including those in my monthly count. The length of visit is a pretty good indicator whether the post is actually being read. 

So far I haven't hit my 50 everyday, but I have had other days with more than 50 so over all I am on target to hit my numbers for the month of January. So to all those who have and continue to visit, thank you for taking the time to do so, and please please please keep reading my posts. If you're not visiting ... maybe it's you who needs the cone of shame.

Yep, just me Cathy thinking out loud about being a insecure and needy blogger.

Five Clever Crocheted Cleaning Tools To Make #ItsEasy2BGreen #GreenIdeas

Five DIY Reusable Cleaning Tool Ideas You Can Make Today

It's Easy To Be Green

Can you crochet?

I can't but these ideas may just motivate me to learn!

Below are five great ideas. Make being GREEN easy by making a basket of these as a hostess gift for easy after party clean-up, for a college student's first apartment, someone you know moving into a new house, or just for yourself. 

Reusable Swiffer/Swoofer Pad via Ravelry

Crocheted Bar Soap Savers via Danyel Pink Designs

Reversible Dish Scrubber via Mrs Green

Crocheted Dishcloth via MidWesternMoms

Crocheted Bottle Scrubber via SnappyTots.com

For more Green ideas look under the blog BEING GREEN tab, 

or check out my Recycling and Green Ideas Pinterest Board

Yep, just me Cathy thinking out loud about being GREEN.

Note: I was not compensated for this post. The purpose of the post was merely to share with my readers. All opinions are my own. Links to instructions and full details can be found at the link under the image. (image via site linked to)