Parenting Teens: Connecting Through Movies @Netflix_CA #Streamteam

It's Complicated ...

Such is the life of a teen or tween.

Such is the life of a parent to a teen or tween. 

The view from here...
We stand on the sidelines watching our kids juggle worries, concerns, pressures, and expectations: school, family, friends, dating. They start to push us to the sidelines as spectators rather than participant, or coach. They think we don't understand, like we've never been a teen. Whether we do or not matters little if our teens and tweens think we're clueless and tune us out.

Wah Wah Wah Syndrome ...  
Starting conversations, getting teens to talk, actively listen and hear our words of wisdom becomes challenging. It becomes a daily struggle to find balance between wanting to protect our kids and allowing them the independence to grow and mature. Ideally my kids can avoid some of life's mistakes and learn some of life's lessons through cautionary tales, rather than personal experience. 

Special Delivery ... 
How the message is delivered becomes as important as the message itself. It has to be presented in a way teens and tweens are willing to hear it. Movies and shows about teen life, choices, consequences, responsibility and self-worth can be very effective message delivery tools, and a great way to connect, bond and start dialogues with your tween or teen. 

Middle School & High School: In my day ... 
In my opinion may of the issues were the same, as were the challenges of parent-teen communication. When I was in high school (back with the dinosaurs) we had to deal with bullying, drugs, alcohol, suicide, teen pregnancy, sex, birth control, STD's, sexuality and social status. The fact is we started to deal with these issues in middle school. There were expectations and pressure regarding academic performance, marks and career choices. As well as expectations and pressure in regards performance in extra-curricular sports, arts, music. My parents limited my time on our land-line phone rather than a cell phone. My school had cliques and groups: the popular kids, jocks, keener smart kids, geeks, stoners, and punk rockers.

That was then, This is now ...
What has changed is the reach and the 24-7 access social media and the internet allows. In my day our circle of friends, influences, resources and support were largely limited by geography. Both have their pros and cons. Not only does the internet and social media open up new avenues for predators, and ways to bully, it also opens up ways to find support, and access information and resources.

Bonding, Dialogue and Finding Common Ground:
Below I've listed some shows and movies that might help to start dialogues about issues that face teens and tweens today. Many deal with the real issues facing kids today, without sugar coating. Some are examples of what not to do, or poor judgement and choices. We can't pretend these issues don't exist. We need to provide our kids with information to make good life choices, and model tolerance, acceptance and empathy. We know we need to be involved as parents, and movies or shows can help us to understand and relate to our kids, provide common ground and work as a great segues to conversation. Watching them together can also be a way to bond with our fickle tween or teen. 

Separate and Together:
I recommend watching these yourself so you are able to decide which are best for the kids to watch on their own, together with you, or just for you to watch to gain some insight and perspective on the pressures and issues facing teens today. 

Shows:
Switched at Birth (TV-14) (family, parenting, disabilities)
The Fosters (TV-14) (parenting, interracial same sex parenting, family, adoption, teens, sexuality, LGBT)

Gilmore Girls (TV-14) (single parenting, teen life, academic pressures)
Glee (PG) (sexuality, acceptance, tolerance, empathy, LGBT)

Life Unexpected (PG) (parenting, teen life, single parenting)
Dance Academy TV-PG) (pressures to succeed, competitive dance)
Freaks and Geeks (TV-14) (acceptance, tolerance, empathy, teen life)
Friday Night Lights (TV-PG) (competitive sports, pressures to succeed, parenting, teen life)
The Secret Life of the American Teenager (teenage pregnancy, sexuality, teen life)
Hjordis (sub-titles) (TV-14) (bullying, acceptance, empathy)
About A Boy (Series) (TV-PG) (acceptance, single parent, adult role-models)

Movies:
Family Party (TV-14) (family, culture, expectations, academic success) 
White Frog (NR) (special needs, Asperger's syndrome, labels, family, death, grieving, LGBT, parenting)
The First Time (PG-13) (teen life, sex, dating, relationships)
About A Boy (Movie) (PG) (single parenting, suicide, role models, acceptance, bullying, peer pressure)
Mean Girls (PG)
A Girl Like Her (PG-13) (bullying, suicide, teen life, social media, acceptance, peer pressure)
Prom (PG)
Boyhood (14A)
Easy A (PG) (teen life, acceptance, peer pressure, relationships, dating, sex, labels, stereotypes)
Breakfast with Scot (PG) (stereotypes, labels, single sex families, LGBT, acceptance, friendship)
Me and Earl and the Dying Girl (PG-13)
Ender's Game (PG-13)
4 Minute Mile PG-13) (mentor, life choices, grief, teen life)
Billy Elliot - The Musical (NR)
Man Up (NR) (teen pregnancy and parenting)
Paper Towns (PG-13)
A Birder's Guide to Everything (parenting, death, grief, remarrying, friends, teen life)

How do you start challenging conversations and dialogue with your kids? 

Happy Streaming! 

Look for the #Streamteam hashtag and Netflix_CA on twitter to follow along on the Streamteam adventures.

Yep, just me Cathy thinking out loud about parenting teens. 

Note: As a member of the Netflix Streamteam I receive Netflix and a streaming device free of charge for the purpose of my Netflix reviews and posts. All opinions are my own. 
Images for The Fosters and Glee courtesy of Netflix.

Wah Wah Wah... @Netflix_CA counteracts Wah Wah Syndrome #StreamTeam

There's always a buzz and energy as summer comes to an end and we start our "back to school" rituals and traditions. 

New knapsacks, lunch bags, and shopping for school supplies. There are discussions over teachers, and who might be in their classes. My kids are teens, one in high school and the other starting college so there's also focus on tech to purchase, schedules, managing the work load, pressures around marks, and college and university. 

And there's the mandatory parent-child discussion about working hard, making this year count and how decisions you make now can impact your future for many years to come. My kids have heard it for so many years I'm sure to them I sound like the teacher from Charlie Brown. "wah wah wah ... wah wah" and another thing "wah wah wah" 

Notice the smile set in place, and the eyes are starting to glace over. Soon the automated nodding of the head to appear to be listening will begin!  I call this the "Wah Wah Syndrome" and find one way to counteract it is watching some of the great series on Netflix Canada based on the life of teens with my kids. Not only does it keep the kids attention, it also gives me as a parent insight into some of the issues kids are facing at school today. 
It can be a good parent-child bonding opportunity, and a great way to segue into important conversations with your kids. 

Here are some of my favourites for teens: 

About a Boy

The Fosters

Switched at Birth

There are lots of great series for the younger kids too! 

Project Mc2

DinoTrux

Ever After High

So starting this year I'm adding watching relevant shows and then talking about back to school with the kids to our "back to school" traditions. I feel it's important to talk with (not at) my kids about acceptance, tolerance, peer pressure, not to mention academics and the importance of a good education. I think Netflix might be the perfect way to do that without the Wah Wah Syndrome. 

To keep up on all the new releases and news follow Netflix Canada on twitter or Netflix Canada on facebook. If you have some favourites to counteract Wah Wah Syndrome please share them with me in the comments section. I would love to hear them!

Yep, just me Cathy thinking out loud about Netflix Streamteam ... wah wah wah.

Note: As a member of the Netflix Streamteam I receive Netflix and a steaming device free of charge for the purpose of my Netflix Streamteam reviews and posts. All opinions are my own.

May is #BeCarCareAware month. Is your car ready for spring? #Tips & Ticklists

May is Be Car Care Aware Month

An Ounce of Prevention is Worth a Pound of Cure: 

As a parent I have spent countless hours and dollars trying to ensure my kids' health and safety. Whether by installing car seats properly, serving a healthy diet, providing proper safety equipment for sports and recreation, or modelling behaviour like wearing a helmet, the goal was always the same. 

Now that my kids are teens and learning to drive I feel that diligence in regards to their safety is even more important. Understanding the rules of the road, eliminating distractions, properly adjusting seats and mirrors, and having insurance with proper coverage is vital. Driver's Ed and practise are both important parts of the learning process, but equally important is the vehicle. It doesn't matter if the mirrors are adjusted to minimize blind spots if the vehicle is not safely maintained.  

Ensuring your vehicle is safe for you and your family is what Be Car Care Aware is all about. Twice a year in May and October the AIA (Automotive Industries Association) and its partners run Be Car Care Aware campaigns aimed at raising awareness on the importance of regular vehicle care and maintenance, and the role it plays ensuring safe roads and the safety of your family. This information is particularly important to new drivers and those considering their first vehicle. 

Regular maintenance and seasonal checkups help to ensure the vehicles my kids drive are safe, and minimize the likeliness of breakdowns than can potentially lead to an accident or my kids stranded at the side of the road. Our safety plan includes a review of the rules of the road, ensuring the emergency preparedness kit is complete, and inspection after the long cold winter. You'll find the Be Car Care Aware blog has useful maintenance tips and information.  

My Key Tick List Items: 

• Review vehicle owner's manual & maintenance schedule.
• Breaks: inspected & in good working order.
• Tires: inspected for wear & pressure. (including spare)
• Fluids: topped up with season appropriate fluids.
• Wiper Blades: in good condition & working order.
• Seat Belts: checked to ensure all are working properly.
• Insurance Information & Emergency Contact Numbers are complete & easily accessible. 
• Emergency Preparedness Kit:  is complete with season appropriate items.
• Spring is a perfect time to wash & detail your car both inside & out.

Teens and Teachable Moments:

Lastly as a parent it's my job to ensure my kids are financially literate, and helping them understand operating a vehicle is never just about the initial cost is a great way to teach them money management. Our family vehicles are investments we rely on and using them is a privilege not a right. Although it may be many years before my kids are ready to buy their own cars, it's important they understand what the ongoing cost associated with operating a vehicle are, and budget for insurance, regular maintenance and repairs. A time investment to research consumer reviews, financing and insurance options and maintenance for a vehicle can add up to big savings over the long run.

What steps will you take today to make yourself and your teens more Car Care Aware?

Additional Resources:

• Free electronic version of the Be Car Care Aware - Car Care Guide 
• Car Insurance: Comparing Prices and Coverage
• Why Care about Be Car Care Aware

Yep, just me Cathy thinking out loud about Being Car Care Aware.

Note: This post was a collaborative effort with my friends at Lowest Rates to increase awareness on the important of regular car care and maintenance. All opinions are my own.

#BacktoSchool #Tech Tips from @Marc_Saltzman #Tools4School

I have two teens boys that are very different in personality and interests. Both have and use multiple tech devices, but what they look for, use and see as important features and functions are very different. One thing they agree on is size matters:

• the budget is small, but the wish list and cost is big.
• they are big on style so it needs to look good and have great build quality.
• tablets and laptops for school need to be small thin and lightweight, with maximum screen size.
• cell phones need to be neither too big nor too small, like Goldilocks they like them just right.
• memory and speed need to be big
• battery life needs to be big, but battery needs to be small.
• functionality needs to be big, and frustration using those functions needs to be small.

WOW as long as they are not demanding. So the challenge for me as a parent is how do I maximize what I get from my limited budget to meet as many of both my and my teens' "needs", while ensuring the substantial investment I make in tech tools for school will not be obsolete next week. It doesn't stop at devices. With those devices also comes a variety of plans, software, and apps, with associated costs and functionality.

My kids are heading into their final year of high school and I could use some help with the parental learning curve associated with tech tools for school. I am happy Tech-xpert Marc Saltzman  has put together his Top Tech Tips for students. 

• Back It Up: The life of a student is busy at the best of times, and chaotic and crazy most of the time. No one has time for lost files or work, and it can definitely mean the difference between a stellar mark and an average mark. Marc's first tip is to is to back up your work. Loss of work or files "because of a hard drive crash, nasty virus, or power surge ... it is critical for students to back up their important files." Marc suggests you take "advantage of free cloud services, such as OneDrive " You can backup your files on OneDrive's 7 gigabytes of storage, while having access to your files and work by uploading, editing, and sharing them from your mobile devices, or PC.

• The Right Stuff: Having the right tools for the job not only makes the work faster and easier, in general the end product is better. We tell our kids that their "job" is school, and our job is to make sure they have the tools to do the job. With assignments, essays, and slide presentations they need a way to easily access their information both at school, at home, and on the road. I can't tell you the number calls I have gotten from my kids in full on crisis mode because they have forgotten their USB keys, or their USB key is full. Marc's tip is to make use of productivity suites such as "Microsoft's Office 365 Home  ($99/year or $10/month) which gives students tried and true programs like Word, Excel and PowerPoint, plus OneNote for note-taking and research, Outlook to manage email and calendars, OneDrive for storage and sharing, and Skype for Skype-to-Skype and Skype-to-phone calling." Personally I like the time savings from being able to manage it all in a single account subscription, and sync family schedules and calendars. Plus the automatic updates gives you the most up to date features and applications. I like the dollars saved by the whole family being able to share the subscription and by using Skype.

• Protect Your Mobile Device: With all the functions and information we store on our smart-phones and tablets these days it is important to be smart-phone-owners as well. Marc's advice is to "put safeguards in place to keep your data safe. There are a number of free apps that can help you remotely lock, wipe clean or better yet, locate a missing smart phone or tablet." A quick search for such apps appropriate for your device will show there is no shortage of options, including "Blackberry Protect for Blackberry Phones, Find My Phone for Windows Phones, Find My iPhone for iPhones, and Android Device Manager for Android Phones". So be smart about protecting your data!

• Staying Safe: All Wi-Fi hotspots are not created equal and to some extent you get what you pay for. Free or public Wi-Fi can pose a security risk, and you need to be aware of that and take some steps to minimize your risk. For starters you can take advantage software to protect your mobile device from malware such as Avast Antivirus or Norton Mobile Security. Marc suggests "Whether it's the school's free wireless network or a local coffee shop, students should be careful when using public Wi-Fi , or "hotspots" - they're not as secure as you might think. These ... are fine for research, checking Facebook or reading emails, but resist the urge to do things like online banking  or shopping. Some Wi-Fi networks can appear legitimate -- when in fact they're fake. Nearby criminals create "rogue" networks that look legitimate but they're out to defraud users." So when in doubt check it out or do without Wi-Fi until you have secure and safe access. 

• Double Duty: For a number of reasons it is important for students to have tech that multi-tasks. For starters buying a tablet and a laptop separately can be more expensive than something that does double duty. If you are not using Office 365 Home or a similar productivity suite of products the time investment of switching information from one device to another is high, and time is money. The key is to have tech that has both the convenience of a tablet and the functionality of a laptop. One such device is the Microsoft Surface Pro 3 tablet that can be customized to your needs with the addition of a keyboard. As Marc says "It's truly the best of both worlds." The Surface Pro 3 starts at $849 which is not the lowest price point, but I found often a good investment at the beginning saves you time and money in the long run. By buying the right tools productivity is increased and the need to invest in upgrades, replacements and add-ons can often be eliminated. Note to my loving husband I WANT A SURFACE PRO 3! xo   

                                

• Another option in multi-tasking devices is the 2-in-1 or convertible device that "resemble a laptop at first glance - equiped with a QWERTY keyboard and trackpad, attached to a screen - but when your school work is done, the screen twists back, folds down or detaches from the keyboard" and converts into a tablet. I love the idea of all the work being on a single device that has all the function of a laptop and the convenience of a tablet. It just makes sense. You will find 2-in-1 options in a variety of sizes, configurations, and price points. 

Keeping these tips in mind I hope your search for the best tech tools for school is a successful one, and you find tech that is the right fit for you. For more great tips and the latest tech updates and information you can find Marc Saltzman on twitter, on CJAD News Talk Radio - Tech Talk Blog with Marc Saltzman and at The Toronto Star as a contributing author. 

Be sure to check out Microsoft Office 365 Home  to see all the applications and features included in the subscription or follow Microsoft Canada on Facebook  Microsoft Canada on Twitter  Office365 on Twitter for all the latest news.

Yep, just me Cathy thinking out loud about Tech Teens and Tools for School.

Note: I was not compensated for this post. I do however appreciate the opportunity to share these tech tips with my readers and offer them a chance to win a Office 365 Home One Year Subscription. All opinions are my own and reflect my own experience with products and brands. 

Teens, Tech & keeping my "Awesome Auntie" status: #Birthday Gift Ideas 4 #Tech Savvy Teens

I am the proud (ish) mother of two teen boys, and Auntie Cathy to a teen niece in University, and two teen nephews. I have an up and coming tween niece who also calls me Auntie. I work hard to keep my Awesome Auntie (and Mom) status with this discerning crowd. I would never want to exclude my two lovely 4 year old nephews, but this is not about them, because quite frankly they are easy to buy for at Birthday and Christmas time. For the younger kids opening the gift is almost as much fun as the actual gift, but not so for the teens. Teens have "opinions".

In order to keep my standing as "Awesome Auntie" it's important to keep up on what teens want and need; understanding there is a difference. Not to worry you won't find me twerking any time soon, but I do like to stay on top of the tech that is oh so popular with the teens in my life. My kids don't know the home phone numbers of most of their friends. They communicate in a completely different way than I did. The same holds true for school work, research, how they access news, and view media. 

Both my son and my nephew have birthdays in July and as I perused my favourite tech websites searching for clues and ideas for their birthday gifts, I decided to share some with you. I figured there must be other awesome aunties who might like to like to know what I came across on my teen tech birthday gift idea journey.

Just a note, clearly some of these are out of the Auntie gift budget even if I am awesome, but I often go together with my siblings to purchase larger more expensive items on the kid's wish lists. Or I get the accessories and let the parents buy the big ticket main event.

• XBox One  ($399-$499 depending on package) plus there are accessories, games and Xbox Live Gift Cards that fit most budgets.

• Play Station 4  ($449 - $469 depending on package) plus there are accessories, games and the Play Station Plus Gift Cards that fit most budgets.

• Cell Phones (Information to compare phones and plans via CompareCellular.com) and accessories such as cases offer gift options that fit everyone's budget. If you are looking for a great budget friendly cell phone for your teen check out my post about the Motorola MotoG. Don't forget that cell service provider and top up gift cards make great gifts and come in a variety of denominations.

• Long Distance Gift Cards come in a variety of denominations and from a variety of providers.

• Charging or docking stations for all their electronic devices are great gift ideas. There are tons of options out there such as the Belkin Conserve Valet Charging Station  or the Belkin Surge Plus USB Swivel Charger  as you can see from my post about the Belkin Surge Plus USB Swivel Charger  I highly recommend at least one of these.

• Portable Back-Up Batteries or Chargers to recharge a phone or tablet. I have a Pocket Booster by NEXTEK Energy that I like ($40) but there are many on the market.

• Apple iPad Mini (prices range between $319- $529 depending on the model) Don't forget that cases, keyboards, stands, Apple or iTunes gift cards are always big hits for those teens who are fans of the "fruit". 

• Tablets have become very reasonable these days and a great gift for a teen. Your best bet is decide on a budget and then go in and speak with the staff at your favourite store. If a tablet doesn't fit your budget, accessories like cases, keyboards, stylus, and gift cards for the appropriate app store are available in a wide range of price points. Personally I'm a fan of the Samsung Tab 3. (But I must admit I have my eye on the Microsoft Surface Pro 3  for me NOT the teens).

• Laptops are almost a necessity for school by the time kids reach their teens. Maybe a laptop is not in your budget (as an Auntie) but there are tons of great accessories and bags that might be. An External Hard Drive to back up and store all their "stuff" is a great option as well! I have a Dell Vostro and Hubby and one of my kids also have Dell laptops. We have owned several HP laptops and been very happy with those as well. 

• Printers print copy and scan these days and are pretty much a must have for school. You can find printers that fit all budgets, but sometimes paying a bit more for the printer will save you in the long run on supplies. Remember paper and ink cartridges make great gifts too! We currently have 2 HP Canada wireless printers that are great and a Dell Canada colour laser printer.

• Desk or task chair is a great investment. You can find a desk chair in all price ranges but I have found you get what you pay for when it comes to chairs. Consider how long the teen will sitting in the chair each day to help to guide your investment. My son has the Staples Hyken Technical Mesh Task Chair and loves it.

• Headphones and Earphones come in all sorts of styles and colours and options. I find the kids tend to lose and break the earphones and my favourite based on price and feedback from the kids are the Sony EX Earbud Earphones at $29.99 they offer the best bang for our buck. Headphones can be very expensive and kids seem to want the name brands. I love my House of Marley Headphones which cost $70 but I redeemed some Aeroplan miles for mine.

• Bluetooth Speakers are another favourite with the teens I know. These are available in a variety of sizes and price points. My son has the Monster Micro Clarity ($100) and he is very happy with it. 

• Fitness Trackers like FitBit, Jawbone Up , Samsung Canada Gear and Nike Fuel are a few of the popular these days. The start at about $60 for the cheapest Fitbit and go up from there. My son likes his Jawbone Up and Hubby is happy with (my!) FitBit One. 

• Ereaders such as the Kobo or Kindle are great to lighten the knapsack load, and for the avid teen reader. They are light weight, have good battery life and there are literally thousands of books available for an ereader. They start around $70 and go up from there. Again a good case and gift cards appropriate to the make of ereader are great gifts as well. 

• Movies & Shows via Netflix Canada is $7.99 a month and perfect to use with a tablet, cell phone or TV. You can use the fancy XBox One and Play Station 4 to stream Netflix, or you can get a Roku starting at $60. I have the Roku 3 and I love that the kids can plug their headphones in to the remote and I don't have to listen to the show they are watching.  

• Soda Stream ($90+) and Keurig ($70+) are both popular with those at University or Collage. Don't forget to top them up with supplies at Christmas. I am a big fan of Single Jo Coffee K-cup compatible and 35% less packaging. You can order it on-line and have it shipped directly to your favourite teen at Collage or University. They will need it for those all-nighters of studying.

Well that is my teen tech gift idea share. 

Yep, just me Cathy thinking out loud about teens, tech, gifts and my Awesome Auntie status.

Note: I have not been compensated for this post in any way. All opinions are my own, and the purpose of this post is merely to share with my readers.

How do I love thee? Love Letter to Mom Perfect #MothersDay #Gift

A Love Letter from my teenage boys thoughtfully articulating why they love me would be a cherished Mother's Day gift. 

One thing I've learned from CathyThinking Out Loud is that the process of writing posts helps me to clarify my feelings and organize my thoughts. This process starts with an idea and an outline for a post, which more times than not, leads to more thinking, and questioning. By the time I reach the end of the post, it often ends up taking a very different direction then I originally thought it would. For me writing requires that I give 100% of my focus and attention to that specific task. 

Getting teenage boys to share their feelings is not an easy task, but never being one to shy away from a challenge, I've decided to ask my two teenage boys to do just that. I'm asking them to focus 100% of their attention on the specific task of writing a two or three paragraph essay or letter, once a year, telling me why I am important, inspirational, or add value to their lives, including a few specific actions, activities, or memories that are meaningful to them.  

I thought writing a letter might be an easier way for them to express their feelings, and because it was a Mother's Day request, they might be more willing to do this for me. Hopefully through this my kids can better appreciate what I do for them, and at the same time, give me better understanding of their perspectives, and expectations. 

Having your kids acknowledged your value and contribution seems like a pretty great Mother's Day gift, and BONUS! because I have it in writing, I can reread them. when they are rude, or driving me crazy after a day of playing taxi, short order cook, and banking machine for them. Better yet, maybe that is a good time for them to reread their letters.

What about you? Would you consider asking for a Mother's Day letter instead of a gift?

Yep, just me Cathy thinking out loud about Mother's Day.